Knifemaking: power in the small things and the Petit Poucet

November 5, 2015December 9, 2015 / ballardmidyette / 1 Comment

“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.”

― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

When I was twenty-one I took a summer job in a cabinet shop. I was in between semesters of school and had made some pretty significant life changes, at least for a twenty-one year old. I had transferred colleges and I decided I wanted a summer job where I would learn something useful.

This particular cabinet shop did custom work. Everything was built to order. The owner was a friend of my family’s. On my first day I was introduced to everyone in the shop. It was noisy in there, with all the fans and sawdust collection systems, and everyone heard my name as “Bernard” instead of “Ballard”.

I didn’t find this out until later, after everyone had been addressing me as Bernie for at least two weeks. I was just happy to not be called college boy.

I was hired to sweep floors, which I did for approximately one hour on my first day. After that hour I was handed a reciprocating saw and told to cut up a stack of pallets. When they found I still had all of my fingers, they gave me other things to do not involving sweeping the floor. From then on I did whatever was asked of me, still happier to be called Bernie than college boy.

I built drawers for desks to go in lawyers’ offices. I would be on a crew of four guys to build an army of receptionist desks for a medical complex. I built a mile of L-bracket to mount cabinets in an insurance building. When you work in a shop with over a million dollars worth of tools and machinery there isn’t a whole lot that you can’t build. The owner liked to make money and I can count the number of times he subcontracted jobs out on one hand.

This was one of the best summers of my life. I didn’t hang out with anybody. I didn’t go on any dates. I got to work at 7:30a and left at 4:45p. When I got home I would practice my horn for four hours in my parents’ basement and then go to sleep. Then I would get up and do it all over again.

I found myself spending full days on a panel saw, a massive contraption designed to rip and crosscut full sheets of plywood. It cut everything perfectly square. You see these at Lowes and Home Depot but this machine made those look like Tinker Toys. This particular one was made by a Nordic company that specialized in making badass cutting tools. It cost about thirty grand and when it broke down they had to pay a company service tech from Pennsylvania $600 an hour to fix it, which included drive time. Clearly we were all in the wrong business.

I was given a cut list for each job. Some of these lists would be casework for an entire building, others just one or two pieces. I cut all the cabinet pieces by hand, within a 1/64th of an inch, which by industry standards is a pretty large margin. The real tricky bit was cutting cabinet doors and drawer fronts. These cuts had to be cut short to accommodate for the laminate that would cover the side edges of the door. This was to allow the doors to fully close once the edge had been covered in laminate and for the drawer fronts to have the proper reveals once installed. When I would get to the doors and drawers on the cut list I would know to cut them between 1/16th and 1/32nd of an inch shorter than what was written, depending on the type of laminate being used.

I cut hundreds of these things without incident. Then one day I screwed up.

The boss called me over. Shit.

I had sent over four doors that I hadn’t cut short, in this instance it was 3/32nds. They had been laminated, drilled, installed with ungodly priced hinges, cleaned and finished.

“Bernie, you fucked up. Let me explain to you the depth of your fuckup.”

He proceeded to tell me that not only had I wasted my time, but I had also wasted the time of everyone involved in those doors, plus materials, wear and tear on machinery, saw blades, electricity, and by default, company time that we weren’t ever going to see again. With everything involved those doors came to about $240. A piece. He instructed me to take them and throw them in the dumpster, but to do it one at a time, and to use that time to reflect on the breadth of my folly.

Four long trips to the dumpster. I was mortified. Everyone else thought this whole ordeal was hysterical. I made sure to not overlook the doors and drawers in the future.

The summer came to an end. I went back to school with a deeper appreciation for both higher education and the people who build the things that make life possible.

There is much power in the small things and sometimes you only find this when you overlook them. Sometimes they are absolutely necessary. Sometimes they make the world a bit sweeter. Small acts of kindness to yourself and others, small acts of gratitude and compassion- these are the stuffs that can give the world its particular hue.

This is where the Petit Poucet comes in. I have been designing kitchen knives and also watching Jacques Pepin cooking videos. There was one of these that struck me where he had all these beautiful knives at his disposal, some quite large and impressive, but he prepared a gorgeous meal using only a six inch utility knife. Petit Poucet roughly translates roughly to Tom Thumb, a very small person who was able to accomplish large things. It’s important to not overlook the small things. This is the lesson of the Petit Poucet, a small but mighty kitchen blade.

I started with a bar of 1095 spring steel

After rough grinding and heat treat. Thankfully he didn’t warp.

Keeping it cool during finish grinding…

I had some Bloodwood that I found to be striking the Petit Poucet: Acid etched 1095 spring steel, Bloodwood handle, and brass hardware.

Mind the small things- the big things will turn out that much better…and you will save four trips to the dumpster.

P.S.- the man I worked for was possibly the best boss I’ve ever had, and one of the most decent men I’ve ever known. We still talk from time to time. He keeps saying he has a place for me in his business and asks me how I am with finance. If he only knew…

Knifemaking: discernment, judgement, and the Observer

November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 / ballardmidyette / Leave a comment

“The alchemists spent years in their laboratories, observing the fire that purified the metals. They spent so much time close to the fire that gradually they gave up the vanities of the world. They discovered that the purification of the metals had led to a purification of themselves”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

This blade was a commission by a gentleman as a gift to a colleague, another gentleman who is a videographer. One of the parameters was to work video camera parts into the handle.

I am not a student of film. I don’t watch many movies or documentaries and when I do I find myself getting extremely upset, sad, or angry at something I most likely have little control over or isn’t even real. There’s a balance between being informed/entertained and being consumed that I have yet to straddle. Most of the time I watch things I find to be entertaining or inspiring and even then I get excited and have trouble concentrating or going to sleep. The world can be a an overwhelming place and mediums such as music, art, and film have the ability to amplify it immensely. About ten years ago I saw Chick Corea perform and it was so badass I couldn’t go to sleep.

Going back to observing the fire that purified the metals: in observation you can be purified or you can be consumed- that is the nature of the flame. Depending on how something is presented it isn’t difficult to find oneself consumed. Sometimes that is the intent and is part of what gives life it’s lustre.

I was sent a bit of the gentleman’s work. It was a brief snapshot of a community based non-profit and it was beautiful. It was a simple observation of this organization’s past, where they are now, and where they want to be in the future. From that place of observation a clear and wide view was provided. Space was left for the audience to decide for themselves what this organization was all about. That is discernment. It is about separation- the good from the bad, the bitter from the sweet, the wicked from the just, the right from the wrong. Because rarely is something completely one thing or the other.

When it becomes one thing or the other, we find ourselves in the realm of judgement. Judgement is more about polarization- that things are either one way or the other. This is where condemnation or condonation occurs. Be mindful when you hear polarizing statements like this:

“If you are not part of the solution, then you are part of the problem”

“You are either with us or against us”

“The friend of my enemy is my friend”

Judgement can be tricky because rarely is it solely about the situation or instance that is being judged. It is often a reflection of something in us that we don’t like, or might be causing us pain, or shines a light on a place of shame. When I find myself casting judgement, I find it coming from one of these places. Sometimes it’s difficult to find one’s way back to discernment from that realm.

I saw a profound maxim on the Facebook the other day: “Judge not, for thou hast fucked up in the past as well.”

There it is. I fucked up in the past and I haven’t dealt with it so I will cast judgement on those in similar situations because it makes me feel better about the shit I haven’t dealt with.

Not proper observation at all. You miss out on the nuanced bits of wonder that makes life sweet and also bitter.

This is the lesson of the Observer. To see that things are rarely one thing or the other. To look past yourself and your projections and to take things for their core value. There is something cleansing in that. It’s a bumpy journey, but a journey worth taking.

…….

For this blade I drew out several designs for the client to look at. He selected this one, a drop point design and a very effective out-of-doors use knife. It’s a departure from my normal “let the grinder design the blade” technique.

Profiled…

The runner up designs:

Centerline guide:

After heat treat I take the plunges to the spine…

The handle was going to be an extension of the recipient’s passion. After a bit of thought on how to work video equipment into the handle, I took a trip to the local pro audio store.
Gaffer’s tape. Used across the board by almost everyone in arts/entertainment production and operations, be them prince or pauper.

It’s a woven fabric tape. It leaves no residue when pulled up.
The process of sandwiching layers of resin between tape begins…

…and it just didn’t work. The resin wouldn’t set up for some reason. It was either due to the adhesive on the tape, the inability for the layers to breathe, the high humidity and low temps, or a combination of all three. I went at it three times and went through nearly a quart of resin. I pouted for a bit, and found myself in a funk of judgement.

Once I got past that and explored a bit more, I found Duvetyne. It’s a light-blocking cotton material used in the motion picture industry. It’s also used in the fine arts world. Sometimes stage side drops are made out of them as well. I wanted to keep to the idea of a blade that is an extension of this particular gentleman’s passion.

By this point I was too preoccupied to take pictures. This resin is an exothermic polymer and needs a bit of heat in the beginning. It’s been a bit humid this October and my work area has no climate control so I put it under a heat lamp. I had to babysit the setup for a bit because I had accidentally set the previous batch on fire by having it too close to the lamp….

The Observer. I left the handle unfinished- it’s the backstage area. She is O1 tool steel, homebrewed Duvetyne micarta, and steel hardware.

This was incredibly challenging and humbling but worth all the bumps and snags. Look a little deeper: there are profound lessons to be seen.

Sheath coming (very) soon

Knifemaking: presence, vulnerability, and the Forester

September 21, 2015September 21, 2015 / ballardmidyette / Leave a comment

“Take the time to know
How alone you are in this world
Just to find
Death is on your mind
As you stand still, you realize where you are
In her world
Aged and bright
My moon after the tide”

Craft Spells- Komorebi

(you can read about the initial inspiration for the Forester here)

I love the forest. I’m fortunate to live in a larger city that is in close proximity to the woods. I have good friends who live on farms in rural wooded areas. I occasionally house-sit for one of my good friends who lives out in the sticks and I will tell you that as a city person there isn’t anything much better than being able to wake up to a place like this:

I think what makes the forest such a special place these days is that it gently brings you into the moment. Not all at once, and not all of the time. Sometimes I go into the woods and all I can think about is how I am going to get my health insurance paid or why I didn’t wash my dishes before I came. Both of these are valid concerns and also a prime example of not being with yourself, or being present- how am I supposed to experience the here and now when I am consumed with shit that will be dealt with later? It’s a thing: once you start noticing that you aren’t being present with yourself you can start to work on it.

When the presence does happen it’s quite wonderful. It’s as if you can see what you are doing and where you are going without any judgement. I try to capture those moments. There’s a vulnerability in the forest because you are so open. Everything is. And it’s empowering and humbling. There is no posturing and no bravado. You can feel your place in things and it feels so safe. At least for me. These are the places where you can really feel your being: There’s a word in Japanese called komorebi. Literally translated it means “sunshine filtering through the trees”. This page explains komorebi a bit better than my understanding of the depth of it permits me. What I do know is that it conveys a sense of wonder at something that would be there whether we are present to observe it or not. It just is. I dig that.

The seasons of the woods: summer…
And autumn when the leaves fall:And winter:And spring:

This is where the Forester comes in. Something that that looks like it just stepped out of the woods, without pretension or affectation. Something to help you be present with yourself and to find the power and connectedness in being vulnerable.

I found a green cutting board that I thought would be interesting to work with. I liked the idea of being able to take something green with me when I couldn’t get to the woods.

…and I hated it. I though it was ugly and it wouldn’t sand up or polish the way I wanted it to. So I cut it off and put an oak handle on instead.

She is made with O1 tool steel, white Oak handle scales, and brass hardware. She was bought by one of my good friend’s father, who is a bit of a Forester himself.

May wherever you are be where you are supposed to be. This is the lesson of the Forester.

Knifemaking: the Lioness, revisited

September 18, 2015September 19, 2015 / ballardmidyette / Leave a comment

“The stuff we make don’t go bad”

“The ugly dog barks the longest”

Tray Eppes: potter, musician, fully present citizen of the Universe

(you can find the initial crafting of the Lioness here)

So a number of years ago one of my best friends asked me if I wanted to play a gig with him and his godfather. It was a Christmas parade in a small town about two hours away. We were both in music school and played near any gig we could get. Neither of had cars at the time and a big ass Dodge truck piloted by a gentleman with a large beard pulled up. This was Tray. On the way we stopped at a jazz club, had a few cold ones, and heard some badass tunes. We got to Tray’s farm at around 2am and he showed me his guitar rig (at full blast). I went to sleep to the sound of coyotes howling. I got up and Tray’s wife had made us smoked venison with Hollandaise sauce on a lightly toasted English muffin. We drove to town and played brass band versions of Christmas songs and it was a blast.

We played those parades for the next couple of years. We spent a New Years out there. As I recall we drank gin and sat in the outdoor hot tub in front of a fire the size of Rhode Island. I make sure to keep in touch with Tray and his wife.

A couple months ago I was standing in the middle of a field working security for a country music concert, alone with my thoughts due to the fact that most of the audience was in the beer tent and there wasn’t much securing to do. In those moments I often find myself thinking about places I’d rather be and in this case I would have rather been, well, almost anywhere else. I decided I would call Tray and see how he made a living making the things he makes: killer pottery.

He told me about selling pottery to the Amish. The Amish don’t have any possessions that are purely decorative. If there are pictures on the wall, it is most likely a Bible verse written in a modest calligraphy. Likewise, nothing is frivolously decorated. This particular group, Tray was telling me, used white dishes. Tray also told me that white pottery is a bit more labor intensive than his normal work and the Amish are the only ones who ask for it. So he can make a large batch of it and have it on hand and not have to fool with it for awhile. He was explaining to the Amish man he can make it and sell it years later.

“Ahh”, said the Amish man. “Not like spoilt cow’s milk.”

This was when he told me the stuff we make doesn’t spoil. You can go back and rework things that you aren’t happy with. I’ve had a few proverbial ugly dogs barking at me and recently I’ve been reworking those. And it’s not limited to just pottery, or knives, or music…just because you were one way yesterday doesn’t mean that’s how you have to be today.

Tray also ordered a knife and a sheath. I made him this:

For the Lioness I found the blade to be too thick. I went and ground down the bevel, which in turn improved the balance of the blade. I wasn’t happy with the finish so I took care of that as well. All of this came from a gentle place. Nothing is going to spoil.

O1 tool steel, Cherrywood handle, and brass hardware

The nice thing about refinishing a wooden handle (or wooden anything) is that the grain is so much more prominent due to the permeation of the finishing oil. The grain pops much more grandly than it did the first time around. I see it as a little gift for going back and trying to make it better.

I also smoothed and polished up the tang.

Tray and a much younger me

Check out Tray’s site at here and drop him a line

Knifemaking: honor, integrity, and the Hound

September 13, 2015September 13, 2015 / ballardmidyette / Leave a comment

“Both sides of my family were landless sharecroppers and mountain people from as far back as I can remember…What did I receive from this lineage? Things I believe to be very valuable: a good raw intellect and a good tough body…A sense of honor that results in a touchiness common to our people…When the only thing you own is your sense of personal honor, you tend to protect it at all costs.“

Eric L. Haney, Inside Delta Force

This blade was initially a commission from another very dear friend of mine. He asked for a knife that was based in a sort of old-world honor. A sort of honor that is maybe not seen so much today, at least not on the surface of things. Something that may get lost in performance reports and email threads. Something that isn’t tied to how much money you do or do not make, what deity you do or do not pray to, what color your skin may or may not be, and completely independent of whatever gender with which you happen to identify. A sort of goodness that comes from having a place in this world, of knowing deep within your being that you deserve to be here and that no one can take that away from you. He asked that it be called the Hound and I got to work.

There are times in my life when I have felt empty and hollow, like something was missing. I tried filling this with all sorts of things- material things, a busy schedule, pharmaceuticals, and overindulgences of food and drink. What was actually missing at those times was a personal bearing. In more difficult times I had traded my honor for things that were fleeting, for a sense of security, and for a feeling of belonging. When you have something to ground yourself in and can carry yourself in esteem, the aforementioned things will find their way to you, though at times it may feel like you are a thousand miles away from any of them. No one gives this feeling to you. Some people have this from an early age, others have to find it, and still others go through hell and many trials by fire to figure out what it is for them. Some people have been beaten down so far that they aren’t aware that it even exists- but still it can be theirs.

When you act and speak from this place it brings an integrity and truth to the things you do. A resonance that permeates everything- like an orchestra, where a balance of intonation, volume, harmony, and depth of emotion makes a gorgeous sonic mass. There may be chaos all around you but within you everything moves in synch, just like the bows of a symphony orchestra.

I “finished” this blade some months ago and was never quite happy with it. I’ve since made a blade of the same bearing for my friend, the Hound Mark II (here is a picture). I didn’t find the initial bevel work on this knife to be satisfactory and I didn’t come to this conclusion till after I had hardened the steel. One has to be careful grinding on hardened steel: if it gets too hot the steel loses it’s temper. So with a cup of ice water I took the bevel to where I was happy with it.

It’s important to not give away our honor, as it can be the thing that gets us through when there may not be anything else. As it follows, I added a sturdy grip on the Hound. I wanted it to melt into the hand and hold fast for times when holding anything may be challenging.

Profiled, ground, and sanded After hardening…
During tempering…    Roughing in contours…Cherrywood for balance….
Mostly sanded… The Hound

The Hound was made from O1 tool steel with a Cherrywood handle and brass rivets. Hold to your honor.

If you find you would like to purchase one of my blades or have me craft one for you, email me or check out my Etsy store. It may end up on this blog…

Knifemaking: gentleness, boundaries, and the Maiden

September 10, 2015September 10, 2015 / ballardmidyette / 2 Comments

“I was only fifteen years old and full of fire
I was a half a pound of bacon and an egg on the side
She got all the good looks, and I got all the war
She was everything I asked for, and a little more”

Francis Dunnery, Give Up and Let it Go (The Gulley Flats Boys)

This blade was a commission from a very good friend of mine. I’ve known him and his wife for quite a few years, worked for his company, and spent much time with his family. He lives in Maidens, Virginia, so coming up with an idea for this blade sort of took care of itself.

The inspiration for the Maiden comes from most all of the women I am close to. Elegant, beautiful, strong, full of love, and most definitely not having any of your shit. Or put another way, immaculately clothed but with a sword hidden beneath beneath their cloak. Or sun dress. Or whatever houndstooth scarf or coat is in season. You get the idea.

No man is an island. Sometimes it’s really healthy to have someone to tell you “hey, see that stupid thing you’re about to do? Maybe think twice about that- you don’t need to impress anyone.” Or,

“Hey, it’s time to stand on your own feet. No, I’m not going to carry you through this. Don’t worry, you’ve got this.” Or even,

“Whether you fail or succeed, I love you.”

These are strong statements but they are held by a gentleness that we don’t often give ourselves, or at least I don’t. I’ve been known to on occasion, when left to my own devices, done that stupid thing to impress someone insignificant and not stood on my own feet and felt like love was conditional on whether I failed or succeeded. Because whether we like it or not, at some point or another we all have moments of neediness and insecurity, self-doubt and self-sabotage, and the story-hour from hell where we ruminate on our screw-ups. As social creatures it’s important to hear these things from others close to us. This doesn’t necessarily mean there are dependency issues at play. It means that we are human. And whether we are aware of it or not, we are often giving the same support to those who help support us.

To me, these statements also represent strong boundaries- saying what is felt without expectation or condition. Without (or in spite of) fear of a negative reaction. Spoken not to coerce or manipulate an outcome but to help us to be ourselves.

That is the lesson of the Maiden- an elegant tool that is close in good times and the rougher times, beautifully dressed with no fucks to give. I’ll drink to that….

I designed four of these lovely ladies and had my friend pick which on he liked best. These three didn’t quite make the cut and that’s ok. I went with a drop point blade- the right balance of tip strength, belly, and piercing ability. Good for farm work.

finish sanding

The Maiden: 1095 spring steel with an acid etch, Curly Maple handle, and brass hardware.

I also made her a sheath. Wet formed for a snug fit.

I actually made two of these- in case I screwed up the finish on the Curly Maple. This is the first one, with a satin finish.

Knifemaking: not taking things personally and the Persuader

September 5, 2015September 5, 2015 / ballardmidyette / 1 Comment

“A true warrior can only serve others, not himself…When you become a mercenary, you’re just a bully with a gun.”

Evan Wright, Generation Kill

In the last semester or so of college I got a job building stages for a small production company. When I say small, it was one gentleman who kept everything in his garage and had a box truck older than I was with no air conditioning. Everything was rough and tumble. Most of the jobs were second-rate: fashion shows at dilapidated event halls, seedy parties, Cinco de Mayo celebrations, weddings out in the boondocks, and community events in some of the rougher parts of town (for these I was told to carry a ‘stunt wallet’- a cheap velcro wallet with nothing but my ID and 5 or 6 bucks in it, in case we got mugged) The biggest job he had was once a year at a county fair. We would build a large stage, maybe 60ft by 30ft. Then we set up 40ft by 20ft event tent on top of it. The headlining act was an Elvis impersonator from North Carolina and for a county fair he could really draw the crowds.

These particular tents are a bit tricky. They require at least four fit people to set up. They are the sort of contraptions where there is a one right way to set it up and a thousand stupid ways to set it up. There’s no in between. There are several dozen aluminum poles ranging from 8 to 20ft. They connect to form the frame through a series of elbow joints secured in place with cotter pins. After you put the frame together, you ‘skin’ it with a weather treated canvas. It’s all heavy as shit.

Invariably when you are putting the frame together some of the cotter pins won’t go in because the rivet holes in the poles won’t line up with elbow joints, usually due to uneven ground. This was to be expected. On these occasions we would bring out the Persuader.

The Persuader was an aptly-named baby sledge hammer for helping those cotter pins to go through the holes. We weren’t trying to beat anything into submission or make anything do something it wasn’t meant to do. There was no intimidation, no malice, nothing like that. Sometimes things don’t quite go together as they were designed and in those instances they might need a bit of persuasion…of the forceful variety.

I find this when I get to the end of a project where there is something I’ve built and it’s almost finished but something isn’t quite going together as I had planned. Do I start over? Do I give up? What usually happens is I percolate a cranky funk and try to wish it into submission. Alas, wishing does not make it so….

This is where the lesson of the Persuader comes in. The idea of helping something to do what it does. Of taking action, manifesting intention, of letting go of the idea that things have to be perfect. Sometimes I find myself so wrapped up in a project that when something doesn’t work I take it personally. When that happens the project becomes about me instead of the idea I am trying to honor and serve. When the cotter pins of Life won’t go through the rivet holes for which they were designed…give them a tap with the Persuader. Not out of anger or frustration, but love taps.

It is from this place that I designed the Persuader blade. Something you can pull out when you know where you want to end up but have challenges in your way. When frustrations and doubts may close your heart. When the goddamn cotter pin won’t go through the stupid rivet hole and the Elvis impersonator won’t have his tent and the sun melts his pomade and he can’t sing….right, deep breaths…everything is there, it just needs a little persuasion.

This blade started with a bar of 1095 spring steel. I wanted something utilitarian, yet elegant. For maximum blade strength and cutting ability I ground a sabre grind on the cutting edge. For extra cutting utility I made a chisel grind on the top of the blade.

Sabre grinds are difficult to do well. I used my cheap little Chinese belt grinder as much as I could and then I evened it out on my filing jig.

After heat treat and tempering….After lots of cleaning up and finishing work…

Some ornamental filework..,

brass spacers and Sapele Mahogany
Chisel grind up front…

When it gets tough, go ahead and get frustrated and take it personally. When you’re through with that, grab the Persuader.

…now to clean all of this up…

Knifemaking: embracing your journey and the Spark

September 2, 2015September 2, 2015 / ballardmidyette / Leave a comment

“Watch my back and light my way
Watch over all of those born St. Christopher’s Day”

James Taylor- “My Traveling Star”

St. Christopher is known to be the patron saint of travelers. There isn’t a whole lot outside of speculation on who he really was. “The Passion of St. Christopher”, found in a manuscript called the Nowell Codex (most famous for containing Beowulf) speaks of how he is put to death while trying to convert the heathen king Dagnus to Christianity. This may be based on the 6th century Greek legend of Offerus, who helped travelers cross a river with strong currents. The name “Christopher” is of Greek origin and means Christ-bearer.

In 1969 there was a bit of reform to the Roman Calendar and St. Christopher’s Day didn’t make the cut. The lack of unsubstantiated origins of St. Christopher, though not explicitly stated as the reason for the removal, didn’t help his cause. On top of that he is not a formally canonized saint. My Catholic friends may have something different to say and that’s cool. I’m just an observer.

None of this detracts from the spiritual impact, or that we are looked after and cared for in our travels.

(I read quite a few journals, articles, and blogs. I put links to the most significant ones at the end of this)

“Saint Christopher”- Titian Vicilli

I have a chef friend, a very gentle man and kind man. Under that cloak is a no-bullshit attitude that originates from growing up in Brooklyn in the late 1960’s. He always told me that when travels are tough you should always pat yourself on the back and keep moving. Sometimes the currents will pull you off your center and you need help.

I started this little knife quite a few months ago. I was in a place where I felt my fire had gone out. Travels were tough. I wasn’t sure where I was going and I didn’t like where I had been.

Even though at that particular moment I couldn’t maintain a roaring fire of my being, I could at least carry a candle, a small flame, till I could get my fire going again. So I made one. Something to give me a bit of light, warmth, and comfort. Something to watch over me when I was having a tough time watching over myself. The blank for this knife sat on my bench for a long time. I finished it a couple days ago. My fire is stronger. I like where I’m going and I’m not ashamed of where I’ve been.

The lesson here is to not forget where you came from and to not lose sight of where you are going. Remember the brutal parts especially because those are the most sacred.

The Spark. High-carbon steel, cherry handle and brass hardware

Wishing you the safest of travels

Anglo-Saxon Poetry: Saint Christopher

10 Beloved Saints The Church Just Made Up

A Catholic Citizen in America

Did the Church declare that St. Christopher is a myth?

Knifemaking: expansion within limitations and the Operator

August 7, 2015August 7, 2015 / ballardmidyette / 1 Comment

“When forced to work within a strict framework the imagination is taxed to its utmost and will produce its richest results. Given total freedom the work is likely to sprawl.”

T.S. Eliot

I’ve found there are two types of people in the world: the Administrator and the Operator. The Dispatcher and the Dispatched. No person is completely one of the other. Some people intermingle beautifully in both worlds. Some people are better at delivering orders and others are better at executing them but no one is completely one or the other.

I find myself more in the realm of the Operator. What needs to be done? When does it need to be done? Within these sorts of parameters I find that I laugh a bit easier, creativity is much more present, ideas flow better, and there is a general ease about me that might not be there if I am left totally to my own devices. Within these sorts of parameters I am most productive.

Expansion within limitations. We are all limited at some capacity. Miles Davis was limited by the physical limitations of the trumpet, Mary Lou Retton by gravity, and Socrates by the political constraints of his time. These limitations didn’t mean that they weren’t going to reach like hell for what they believed in. No work is totally free because we are all coming from somewhere. And it’s not about consciously limiting yourself or your potential; it’s about pushing through to find how far you can go with your craft before you hit a barrier that prevents you from going any further. And honestly I don’t think there are many, if any, people who have hit that point. The rub is getting through the limitations we put on ourselves. Sometimes they sound like this:

“I’m not allowed to be this good”

“If I’m this good it might offend someone who has worked harder than I have”

“I don’t deserve to be this good”

“It’s too much work to be this good”

Those are unhealthy limitations. Healthy limitations push us. Money constraints, time constraints, resources, naysayers, things of that nature. Nothing is totally free and this is a very beautiful thing: we are all coming from somewhere. We have notions, perspectives, opinions, and options. We all work within mediums. Even accountants manage to be creative within what I consider to be a dry and sterile set of parameters. Accountants might disagree and that is part of what makes the world go round.

This is how things get done and was the inspiration for the Operator.

The lesson of the Operator is to do your tasks beautifully and fully, to the best of your abilities, and within whatever parameters have been set for you or that you have set for yourself. Whatever those tasks may be.

I felt I was limiting myself and wanted to use a different steel. 1095 steel is a tried and true material for knives and many other things. Lawn mower blades, files, coil springs for suspension systems, and many other things. It’s easy to work with, hardens up beautifully, and takes a razor’s edge. It’s super tough. And cheap. I like all of these parameters…

The Operator

I ground this freehand on my cheap little belt grinder. It’s a process. Here’s where I make the handle material. I used fabric, fiberglass resin, pressure, time, and patience. You can buy the stuff commercially (it’s primarily used in industrial electrical insulation practices) but it’s a lot more exciting to make your own. I’ve done this several times and I’m never entirely sure if it will turn out as expected…This is a quick and interesting read on how this stuff works and why it’s ultimately great for knife handles. I used two of my favorite shirts- shirts I had worn up and down the East Coast and had adventures in. It was time to retire them and this was a good way to honor their Operator spirit…
the raw material… cut to shape…

I probably spent three hours sanding the stuff… Sanding is finished. He goes into phosphoric acid. This etches the surfaces of the steel and helps protect against rust. It also makes the blade non-reflective, for those who may wish to operate clandestinely…I wish the blue material would have been more prominent but it turned out wonderfully nonetheless.

Work within whatever parameters you may have but don’t limit yourself. The Operator in action:

Knifemaking: softening, sturdiness, and the Finn

July 20, 2015September 29, 2016 / ballardmidyette / Leave a comment

“”Fire will not burn you once it has
made your acquaintance,
will not abuse its kin.
When you come to fire’s dwellings,
to the bright one’s barricade,
there you will become beautiful,
rise up to be magnificent
as men’s fine swords.””

-Rune IX, The Kalevala

I based this blade loosely on the puukko, the traditional knife of Finland. Carried for centuries by outdoorsman, this simple and unassuming knife has been the backbone of many livelihoods forged in a harsh enviroment. It is characterized by a blade with a deeply curved edge and straight spine. In order for the puuko to be authentic, it must be made in Scandinavia. The handles are traditionally made of Curly Birch and the blade is made with Finnish Ovako 100Cr6 steel- although other materials are most certainly used.

There is a fantastic Finnish knife blog called Nordiska Knivar. They speak a lot more on the matter. These dudes love their puukkos….

I had an old Nicholson file that I wanted to craft a blade from. There are several sources that say they are made of either 1095 or W1 steel. Both of these will make a good blade. I had to soften it first- otherwise it would just eat through all my cutting discs, sanding belts, and ruin my other files. To do that I let it sit in hot coals for several hours, letting it glow red and then cool slowly…

The reason we soften things is that they become easier to work with. A set of knowing hands can work soft clay into something beautiful. Mistakes (and there are always mistakes) are easier to fix in this way. In this place it’s easier to be free, to let go and go for it. Just as it’s very difficult to work with clay that has been fired in a kiln, metal that has been hardened, or paint that has cured, it can be difficult to be with ourselves in a hardened state. Softening gives a chance to freak out at all the work we have to do, to look at things objectively, to make a plan, and to deviate from that plan as we sometimes have to do. Softening gives us space to work, to breathe and to live.

And then sometimes things warp in the softening process. This is ok. In this instance I just heated it back up and hammered it straight, as we do…. I came up with this: a nod to Scandinavian sensibilities and a hidden tang, something I haven’t done before.

There she is…
I put a saber grind on this blade. In this grind the bevel starts about midway through the width of the blade so that the spine retains full thickness. It also left the remains of the file. It’s important to remember where you came from.Ready to hardened and tempered again:

Handle fittings- mesquite and steel.

After sanding, filing, hammering, and swearing…he’s in.

Almost there…

The Finn

He is sturdy, beautiful, and capable. It takes some time but the work we do in our softening does not go unrewarded.

The lesson here is to not be afraid to soften, to not worry about how long it will all take, and to definitely not compare yourself to where others are in all of this. There is ample time to jump in the forge and find our sturdiness.

groundedinfire

lessons, journeys, and wonders

knifemaking